Green Jersey

Avoiding each other

by Ralph Copleman

Went for a bike ride around the county Saturday. Lovely afternoon. Rain held off and temps rose to warming levels. Nice one, Mother Nature. Thanks.

Along my route, I encountered evidence of the richness of community life in these parts. Ewing had signs around for the community 5K run that had taken place that morning. Downtown Pennington had people nearly filling the streets during an annual borough celebration of some kind or other. And in Lawrence, the Greater Eldridge Park Neighborhood Association was holding its first-ever garage sale and swap in the fire company parking lot.

This is the season for it. Recall some recents: Communiversity Day in Princeton, Lawrenceville Main Street’s Jubilee, and Lawrence Nature Center’s Earth Day festivities. All either are or will likely become annual events.

You could say that after the long winter we take advantage of the new season to enjoy each other’s company. I wonder if on some important level it’s really a charade.

I believe we talk to each other far less today than we used to. Too many of us avoid real contact with immediate neighbors, choosing instead to hang with fellow workers or family. Don’t we use these public events to feign neighborliness and pretend everything is chummy and cheery?

I ask people all the time, in my role with Sustainable Lawrence, if they’re willing to invite in a few neighbors for a little coffee and dessert for a little chat about how they can join together and save money (together) while learning home-based sustainability.

There are few takers. A lot of “No, not with our neighbors” comments. We turn out for street fairs of every variety, but we do not open our homes.

Are you part of this presumed majority? If so, why? What goes on in your mind about this?

No psychosocial analysis, please. I want to know why you do not or would not invite people over. Is it the topic? You don’t trust your neighbors? You don’t have any dessert forks? What’s your reason?

(Or tell me I’m wrong.)

Ralph Copleman is the executive director of Sustainable Lawrence. A slightly different version of this post first appeared on his blog.